A week's worth of whinging credits all in one blog.

So stuff sucks a tad at the moment.

I have a pile of bills worth more than my current bank balance- meaning my savings for Asia have taken a massive decline and my credit card is about to be hit hard.

I put my neck out, and it's hurting. Chiropractor later in the week if it doesn't improve tomorrow.

My lecturer failed me by 2 marks- after much discussion she gave me 50%- meaning I am just scraping in for a pass.. stressed.

I've lost my passion with work and it's showing.

My living circumstances will be completely different again in about a month- stress.

And a little bummed about other stuff. Nothing massive, but just hasn't helped this week...

I only write a blog like this for me to reflect on. In a week's time, or a month, I will probably read over this, laugh and be glad things are going smoother.. .

Sydneysider

So I spent the last three weeks away in Sydney. Really loved it.

honest thought from an honest girl.

You could say my new years resolution came a little late this year. Well, I don't know what else to call it, but I set a deal with myself a couple of months ago to try and challenge myself.

I think a weak area of my personality is my lack of honesty. Not that I lie- I hate liars- but I think we all avoid the truth from time to time.

We're brought up being taught to be honest. We're also told not to offend others and ALWAYS be considerate of other's feelings. So which of the two takes priority? Because, the way I see it, these two quite often clash.

I believe we become more caught up in protecting others from getting hurt, that the truth takes the back seat and consideration rides shot gun.

So my challenge to myself was to be completely and utterly honest. This doesn't mean telling someone if I don't like them or outright offending people, but, just to put myself and my thoughts out there a little more.

And you know what? It's really liberating. I have never been happier. It's been a hard challenge. At times I've felt sick in the stomach before making phone calls, having heavy conversations- but, I feel the people around me are getting to know me better- and I am knowing myself. When we lie/avoid the truth with others, I think we often lie to ourselves. Agree?

Driving to Sydney

So I figure I will start my 6.5 hour journey very soon.

It's a good thing I enjoy driving...

Feeling a little nervous about the school- not knowing what to expect..

Will try and blog when I get time to update how the whole deal is going!

"When everything good is happening somewhere else"

Really apprehensive about going away...

Not ready. Not wanting to.

I am looking forward to exploring a city I haven't had a lot to do with.

But, I feel really out of my depth with this placement. I feel dumb. I don't want to be stuck 6 hours from home and 9 hours from Melbourne for 3 weeks.

A lot can happen in 3 weeks- and I know this is going to be a challenging and 'shaping' experience. It will be good for me professionally and most likely personally too...

Doesn't mean I'm ready or wanting to go....

head's in a good space..

Pretty content and cruisey at the moment. Things have been stressful.. too much work, too much study, too much thinking.. but everything is starting to feel right.

There is a boy that makes me smile- and that's enough for now.

My future plans are looking so much closer and so much more possible.

I'm feeling really content with my own company again. Have balanced out the social life/alone time quite well.. scared myself for awhile- couldn't stand being alone.

While I'm still frustrated in this town.. I have accepted it's the way it has to be for now, and the countdown till I can leave is on!!

=)

Lonely and dreaming of the west coast..

I really kinda hate this feeling and I have no idea how I've ended up here to be honest.

It's a really distant, misplaced feeling...

-Not sure what I mean to people around or what I have meant in the past...

-Missing the closeness and comfort..

-Lacking a 'best friend..'

- Frustrated at being stuck in this town

- Not ready for another three weeks away with everything up in the air- really not helping the insecurities about the whole deal..

- Making a conscious effort to be chilled. Doesn't that contradict what being chilled is all about?

Head's just in a bad place at the moment.. I think I know what would put it in a better place... 2 different ways it could go..